I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize