didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
