I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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