What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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