At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
from now on my penis is your penis
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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