oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was not drunk enough for that final.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize