I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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