I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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