you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
