Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize