Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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