Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
