that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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