Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
