I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I want to walk on stilts...naked
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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