She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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