I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
