just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Boobs speak an international language.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize