Walk of Shame. In a state park.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
