he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
