Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
