Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I stole a fireplace last night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
