Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
