i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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