Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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