I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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