I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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