tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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