I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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