I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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