Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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