Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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