So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
