ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
