I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago