we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
