I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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