guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
