I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How external is "for external use only"?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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