I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
