Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
