Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
