um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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