You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
