We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
