My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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