I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
