He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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