What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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