my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just invented taco cereal.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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