I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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