Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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