hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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