you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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