my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
